My City May Be a Sucker: David Lee Roth

While all of you suckers are hunting down rumors on a Police reunion, (give it up; they're not coming to Coachella) Norm Clarke of the Las Vegas Review-Journal scooped ya'll. This, honest to God, is at the top of the Review Journal's Web page right now, under a little red "NEWS FLASH":

Van Halen reunion tour to kick off in Las Vegas

By Norm Clarke

A Van Halen reunion tour, with David Lee Roth back in the fold after 22 years, is in the works, with a Las Vegas launch looking good. A late April date at the Palms' new venue, The Pearl, is "99 percent" likely, a source said. It would be the latest coup for Palms owner George Maloof, who will open the 2,500-seat venue with a lineup that includes Tool, Evanescence, Gwen Stefani along with Van Halen, all in the first month. Many critics consider Van Halen the greatest party-metal rock band of all time.

1. WTF is party-metal? I doubt many critics have even considered the question, let alone considered Van Halen kings of the "genre."

2. Who the hell else is in the running for that title? I hate to ask, as we all have better things to do, but isn't GnR party-metal? If so, Van Halen is better than GnR?

3. If you band is called Tool is there a way to more fully embody your band name than play the Palms casino?

4. Will the original Van Halen come to San Diego? We have a lot of casinos, too, and the venue formerly known as the Sports Arena

And, wow, check this out...

Proving that you can see a conspiracy if you look hard enough with your eyes closed, Fox News retard Neil Cavuto trys to bait Roth into bad-mouthing, well, anyone, after getting fired as Howard Stern's replacement. While Roth is sporting a mean combover and appears to have just come back from an audition to play the Joker in the new Batman movie, he comes off as a connsumate pro. Even when he slams Eddie, you can sense a certain level of respect. Roth proves that, no matter how crazy you act, you have to be savvy as hell to succeed.